Why Second Parent Adoption Is Important for LGBTQ+ Families
Meg York, director of LGBTQ+ family law and policy and senior policy counsel at Family Equality, is intimately acquainted with the process of second parent adoption, in which the non-biological parent adopts the child of the biological parent. “My wife and I had planned for Ida, we worked together to choose a donor, to have all paperwork reviewed by an attorney, to engage in assisted reproduction, to carry a fetus for nine-plus months and to birth this tiny miracle,” she shared with The Advocate last year. “Ida was born into my arms. I have her face memorized. Her smile brightens my day. She is my everything. And yet, there I was—pleading with a judge to legitimize my role as her mother.”
As an attorney, York knew that having her name on Ida’s birth certificate and being married to her birth mother wasn’t enough to protect her family’s legal rights. “I was familiar with horror stories of families ripped apart and the less traumatic, but no less frustrating denial of dependent health insurance coverage,” she continued. “As a mother, I was frustrated that we had to jump through these hoops that different-sex couples did not.”
Second parent adoption eliminates any confusion under the law about whether you’re your child’s legal parent. If you and your family are considering this process, we’ve put together a guide—including information on where it’s available, how to start a second parent adoption and more.
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A second parent adoption is when the non-biological parent of a child adopts the child of the biological parent, explains Ashley M. Silberfeld, Esq., a partner in the matrimonial and family law practice at Blank Rome LLP. This type of adoption often arises with LGBTQ+ couples in which one partner has a biological relationship to the child and the other doesn’t—for example, a lesbian couple in which one partner’s egg was used to conceive the child and the other partner didn’t contribute any genetic material.
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“Second parent adoptions are incredibly important to LGBTQ+ families because they give equal parental rights to a non-biological party of an LGBTQ+ couple,” says Silberfeld.
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“A Family Lawyer’s Tips for LGBTQ+ Couples Considering Divorce with Kids,” by Natalie Gontcharova, was published in The Bump on May 22, 2024.